Limonada

I have been having a few downs amid my series of ups lately and they have been throwing me off my game. God has been amazing to me ever since we started getting serious about each other lol.

So, here I am again doing what I do best which is avoid doing my homework, which is for the first time in a long time past due. But I needed to take this time to write my thoughts in stone. This particular entry will serve as a reminder of why I am appreciative and don't regret going to college. I have my moments but across the board, I could not have become all that I am had I not had the experience we know as college.

Attending a reputable, 4 year institution is a whole different beast from anything else. Fortunately, I didn't do myself the disservice of attending those top dog schools I go accepted to. If my mother knew who all I turned down by not sending my info back, I think that she would kill me. But I don't think many people would understand my rationale.

I didn't want to attend a big name school because I wanted to have my own identity apart from the national acclaim the institution receives on its own. Everyone expects greatness of certain graduates. However, it is a true testament to your personal will, drive, ambition and overall skill when coupled with destiny to excel beyond those TOP Dog grads and put your school on the map.

I chose to attend Georgia Southern University for soooooo many reasons, but most importantly it was a personal financial decision and a strategic one as well. I wanted to go to a smaller school and make a BIG name for myself. All my high school friends are at UGA, and I didn't get in until the Spring. I see that one misclick of the mouse as God's divine intervention. I didn't need to be a number among many attempting to stand out, I was to become a flicker of light in a river that would incite a gold rush.. Georgia Southern is on its way to becoming a force to be reckoned with and I am blessed to be apart of that reason. (I will blog about the misguided ambitions of GSU at another time.... let's remain positive here Eagles, lol)

I have met so many small town stars and I am grateful to be apart of their journey to whatever level of success is beyond the top, because honestly that's where we all are headed. All my lifetimes, as I like to call them, have a focused vision and we all have become each others paint; adding pops of color to each others big picture. We all don't want the same thing but we all needed each others goal oriented piece to complete the puzzle that is purpose.

I hate academics with a passion, but I love learning, knowledge and the experiences that come with college. As much as I would like to think that I want things to have been different, I had to take a untrodden, unconventional, relentless, teeth pulling, arm gnawing, trail of tears to end up exactly where I needed to be.

There really is no such thing as a fork in the road because no matter which road you choose it all ends up at the same place, but your decisions dictate how long it will take you to get there. Going to college was the detour I needed to pick up a few antiques, trinkets and unique decor from mom and pop stores on Route 66. This road heading to the middle of no-where turned out to be a scenic route that has made me stronger, appreciative, attentive and determined to be all that I was created to be.

College has taught me, when life or a professor throws you lemons you can throw them back or grab some drink mix and tequila from the line (we're in a dry county so we have to drive to the next county to purchase liquor) and make margaritas!!

In the Moment

Here's a glimpse of light if you are in a dark tunnel and can't see the light flickering or the end.

Life has been amazing since I began implementing the mentality of putting God first and staying in His will. I can't tell you that life has been easy, I have faced many challenges and personal missteps but God has delivered me into the hands of victory.

The irony is that we already have victory in Jesus, but for whatever reason it is hard to walk there in. Why is it easier to accept defeat but we can bask in the beauty of winning.

Well, my personal fault is my inability to accept God's favor. It is a tremendous honor to be highly regarded by God because the question of everyday will be why??? Who is God that He is mindful of me, thinking of me when I call on Him. Who is this God that forgives me, loves me and blesses me beyond measure when I don't deserve any of his kindness?

I submit to you that God is a God of more than enough, in abundance does He shower down and rain on the just and unjust. What a mighty God, I serve. I'm not religious because I believe in the magnanimity of God. I fervently believe in the words of Jesus: man should not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.

Living by every word God speaks requires that you talk to Him daily, constantly. God loves conversations and so do I... we are both quite talkative. I advocate relationship over religion because there is sooooooo much more to know about God through revelations. When you seek His way you find completion in peace that comes only when you lean not to your own understanding.

It really irks me when people are looking for God as if He is something or someone you can lose. God is everywhere and He can meet you wherever you are... I am also unnerved when people blame God.

The interesting thing about Him and the only certainty that we can enjoy is that God CAN NOT LIE, the world is the way it is because He said "if my people who are called by my name (believers) who turn from their wicked ways, I WILL heal the land.... (let that marinate)

I had to sit down and figure out what are the things that aren't of God that are hard for me to give up?? Those are my imperfections but in the scope of God's hand of perfection, I am flawless. We have to actively seek our purpose for being created and walk their in. Life is hard enough trying to figure that out, let alone our need to belong and compare ourselves to others.

It is God's spirit that is the sustainer and the giver of all life.. so how should we live?? The answer is simple stay in the moment.... if God is the same today, yesterday and forevermore, even He stays in the moment.

We shouldn't worry about things because God already has everything in control. Our job is to make decisions that are literally life and death choices. If you want to walk around daily then don't enjoy life, if you want to live don't let anything kill your spirit.

Is it really that simple, yes it is.. we make life more complicated because we don't allow God to shoulder the gray area....anything you can't understand is God! My grandmother would say in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path!

Learn to live in the moment and walk in the path of victory God has ordained for your life. I have come to enjoy riding shotgun with God because He is the best driver, He loves to take scenic routes just to show off His miracles.

Stay in the moment and enjoy the ride

Ratchetness

Okay, so I just viewed the photos from Pajama Jam 2010 and may I just say that I thought the festivities from Freaknik were enough; nope the hoes have truly outdone themselves this time. I honestly forgot that I attended an institution of higher education. Then again, I often do forget that fact.

All the ratchetness occurring in and around Georgia Southern remind me of why I did not go to a HBCU, it would be worse! Any of who, people people people! Please carry yourselves as respectable citizens! The world is looking for USSEN to act like niggas. The man looks for the common folk to do ridiculously barbaric and primal things! The saddest part about all this is that the man no longer has to keep US down we do it to ourselves.

I can't tell you how many surburban thugs walk around the union communicating in goon with a thick ignorant accent! lol (but not really) GSU's Office of Admissions Atlanta recruiter (yes I know her) works hard and hosts her College Fairs at the Cobb County Galleria. Thus, none of you are thugs or gangstas! And with the current avg high school GPA and SAT scores, you had to work to get into this school!

So PLEASE stop wasting our time with these grills, colored dreads, sagging jeans (God forbid women's colored skinny legged) and better yourself. Stop trying to be a rapper and become a Writing/Linguistics major to perfect your craft. Major in something related to whatever you want to be "as see on TV" at least!

Females get off these dicks and get in your books! No one wants to END UP with the hoe, ppl run through you for the time being! Put on your clothes. No one expects your attire to be studious 24/7, however it is an expectation for you to conduct yourselves as post secondary matriculates.

I curse all the time but my communication is sensible and intelligible. I am a product of the EASTSIDE but I am no one's statistic. Seize this opportunity to get ya family out da hood, get yo white collar stacks up and have a legitimate hustle (sorry I had to turn it on and speak with the "eloquent" vernacular of the Layman) Stop being a cul de sac shawty and represent the lifestyle that your parent(s) or guardian worked hard to afford you! The BMW, Benz or recently manufactured vehicle is an indication of your background. And in case you thought no one would notice, GA state tags include the residential county where the tag is mailed. You're not fooling anyone. Let us say no to the ratchetness. I'm speaking to the college students because I am sure that the club was not fully comprised of locals!

We as the minority have got to do better. Help Obama help you; since Obama seems to be the only motivation for the National Advancement of Colored People (lol)

Family Ties

My brother just called me today. I haven't talked to him in a while! No particular reason, I just don't have time to really talk to anyone on the phone! I will text anyone ALL DAY but for me there are just not enough hours in the day.

I love my brother. He is 10 years older than me and was like a father when we were growing up. We have been through A WHOLE BUNCH OF BULL together. That's my brother for life. But talking to him for any short period of time sets me back for whatever reason. I start acting hella masculine and my mindset goes back to fuck you pay me mode! Growing up we hustled! I saw alot before my time which is partially why I have always been mature for my age. I WAS a player because of my brother and his friends because the whole premise of talking to anyone is to milk them dry for whatever benefit they bring to your life. When they no longer have your interest or anything to offer, you move on. Our issues are money, respect and women (me not so much, but I am a flirt who thanks God everyday that I am not sexually attracted to women. Can you imagine a world with me as a Man or attracted to women? Can we say Apocalyptic?? But its all in fun)

Because of all the negativity in my past and personality people plead with me to leave my brother alone. But I love him sooooooo friggin much. It is hard to give up on him because my newest circle of friends push me so hard to be a better person. I owe so much of my success to him and all the lessons he taught me and all the things about him that I don't want to embody.

My grind, work ethic, respect for others, loyalty, speaking my mind, not taking shit from anyone, standing up for the weak??? I owe that to my big bro!

What I am no longer obligated to do is enable. I know that I can't keep fucking with people's lives, I can't always throw money at my problems. WE BOTH have to stop burying our bullshit in addictions. But at the end of the day no one really taught him how to be a man, and no one taught me how to exist in this world.

We will forever bond on that foundation: Us against the world. I will never be able to cut family ties, but I have learned to take responsibility for my bullshit and thus refuse to get tangled in up in our connection!

Wall Flower

It's another great day coming to a close and I am preparing for one of the biggest weekends to hit Georgia Southern University. Alpha Phi Alpha's Gorilla Thrilla/Pajama Jam weekend. Da Boro will now be swamped with regionals, alumni and "others".

I'm not much of a partyer, in fact I can probably still use my appendages (fingers and toes) to count how many times I have gone out since I have been in college. The scene just isn't for me.. I fail to understand it. You mean to tell me that I am going to pay you to induce claustrophobia, sweat profusely and be groped by strange men or participate in stare-downs with ratchet hating ass females?? Uhm, so yeah it's a no brainer... I keep my happy, secure ass at the crib or in small circles of individuals.

I am not knocking the club, I just relish in the contradictions on my timeline. I can't tell you how many tweets I have seen that let's me know the club (for Statesboro anyway) is not where the fun is at! I'll save my hard earned dollas for the weekly trips to El Som & Manny's. A good time will always be remembered with great people... but memories get lost when you can hide who you are in the crowd under the influence.

At the end of the day this is just an opinion written from an observative vantage point. I ain't gone knock what makes you happy because in the end that's what matter. Moreover, I am sooooo extra good in this drama free bubble cuz there is nothing in this world but the fingers of sweet baby Jesus that can burst it! LOL

Have fun at the club or pretend to.... my timeline will be waiting next weekend when we return to the regularly schedule Statesboro, Ga.

Girl w the afro wearing redchucks

Inconvenienced

I tweeted last night about the things that I would allow myself to be inconvenienced for. The running list consist of "FUN", Love, Friends/Fam and money.

Well this morning I ate my words and was inconvenienced something serious by 3 of those 4 factors. I had lots of "fun" last night woke up to love only to rush off to make some money. I only work early mornings once a week, every Thursday AT my second job FOR 3.5 hours TO MAINTAIN my benefits! lmao The things I do to provide for my family and support my habits. This is especially crazy because I got my stipend from my internship. ADP combined all 3 checks and of course UNCLE SAM ol' moochin ass TOOK $150 of my fuckin money... I made way less and there was the week of Spring Break included. So essentially they took my school check! WHAT THE FOOSBALL bruh! (random side note my FAFSA MONEY & INCOME TAX CHECK BETTER LOOK AMAZING)

Anyway back to the real reason I'm blogging. I was inconvenienced out of love! It felt so good to wake up on 1/4 of the bed with you encroaching all over my half of the bed! lol Your warmth, your little baby cub snore and your I love you murmur! It absolutely killed me to leave you this morning as it does every Thursday! I hope you understand why I do everything I do!

I always miss you Wednesday when I go to sleep because I know that I will have to leave you in those few hours following.. its a terrible feeling! But one day I know that this work ethic will pay off, I hope that you will always respect my grind. One day we will be introduced to the good life yet remain simple people.... work hard play later!

I don't like being inconvenienced, however I know one day everything will all makes sense and I will only have to be apart when I'm in the studio but we won't have to hold down 9-5. One day life will be flexible and my only commitment will be to you my love and my purpose as a musician!

You still down to ride?

The Day the Earth Stood Still

The shopaholic in me recently has become terminally ill and is in need of a transplant. Am I the only one who goes on a shopping trip with money to blow, only to ride home unfulfilled? What is going on with the world of fashion and its once burgeoning trickle down affect. There was a time when you could have the fashion of the celebs for a fraction of the price. But even our stars of today look a HOT HAWAIIN MISSION TRIP TO THE SUB-SAHARAN DESERT mess! I won't even begin to run down the running list, but I am quite sure that you all know who they are!

I am frustrated, mainly on the basis that I always stress: I AM A GOT_DAMN INDIVIDUAL. I don't want to look like everyone else! Just make quality pieces. And that is a shot to whoever is design or purchasing for the middle class retail stores!

I was once told that the lack of creativity in one area stunts the growth of all other industries... I guess the music world and these bogus Hollywood screenwriters need to get it together! I need FASHION, it was once my life.. but I have reclused to vintage tees and skinny jeans... I'm fly but I need to be flyer than I have ever been! Give me FASHION or GIVE ME DEATH...

So the Earth is standing still. ALOT of people are well dressed but you all look alike! I need a change up cuz we are looking at the death of innovation! The fabrics of our lives are unraveling with uninspired, poor quality pieces! As long as there is a God in the heavens something inspirational can become! Pray to God for some sort of creativity because I am touching and agreeing, hoping that I can shop til I drop again: yes even in a recession! I works hard for my monties! lol

So I am waiting on this transplant, this intervention of the fashion dieties! Send us a revival... and let it begin with me!

Girl w/ the RedChucks