Family Ties

My brother just called me today. I haven't talked to him in a while! No particular reason, I just don't have time to really talk to anyone on the phone! I will text anyone ALL DAY but for me there are just not enough hours in the day.

I love my brother. He is 10 years older than me and was like a father when we were growing up. We have been through A WHOLE BUNCH OF BULL together. That's my brother for life. But talking to him for any short period of time sets me back for whatever reason. I start acting hella masculine and my mindset goes back to fuck you pay me mode! Growing up we hustled! I saw alot before my time which is partially why I have always been mature for my age. I WAS a player because of my brother and his friends because the whole premise of talking to anyone is to milk them dry for whatever benefit they bring to your life. When they no longer have your interest or anything to offer, you move on. Our issues are money, respect and women (me not so much, but I am a flirt who thanks God everyday that I am not sexually attracted to women. Can you imagine a world with me as a Man or attracted to women? Can we say Apocalyptic?? But its all in fun)

Because of all the negativity in my past and personality people plead with me to leave my brother alone. But I love him sooooooo friggin much. It is hard to give up on him because my newest circle of friends push me so hard to be a better person. I owe so much of my success to him and all the lessons he taught me and all the things about him that I don't want to embody.

My grind, work ethic, respect for others, loyalty, speaking my mind, not taking shit from anyone, standing up for the weak??? I owe that to my big bro!

What I am no longer obligated to do is enable. I know that I can't keep fucking with people's lives, I can't always throw money at my problems. WE BOTH have to stop burying our bullshit in addictions. But at the end of the day no one really taught him how to be a man, and no one taught me how to exist in this world.

We will forever bond on that foundation: Us against the world. I will never be able to cut family ties, but I have learned to take responsibility for my bullshit and thus refuse to get tangled in up in our connection!